I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
