try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
