Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
