This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
