fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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