Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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