he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
