and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
