I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
