i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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