I'm jealous of your bromance
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
