I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
