Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
