well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Can you bring me the toilet please
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize