I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
