Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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