perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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