i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
