naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Randomize
