even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
