Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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