im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
