she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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