I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
