Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
All I want is dick and wine.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
