The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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