Your tits are I can't wait for
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
