the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
