Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
