We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If I die, sorry about rent.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
