remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
