You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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