I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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