i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
