Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i dont even know how to be here
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
