Can i not drive my cunt home
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
