Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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