Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
