You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
