I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
