Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
