Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
