wrigley field is MILF paradise
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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