let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
