She said her name was "party"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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