wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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