did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
This show inspires me to have sex in space
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
