I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize