More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
