Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
