I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
