ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
