I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
