you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
